Still Growing

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Esteem/Confidence -Fundamental Characteristics


...which I lack.

I often say there is nothing for me to blog about; in fact the perks of this blogspot come from reading other ppl blogs and responding when I feel. And while my zone of this spot remained dormant until now, and while it may never be viewed as a result of this, I blog anyway because of a need to relieve my mind of a weighing concern of mine. In addition I doubt that others can really relate to this woe...but here goes.

In this quest to find myself (corny concern - I know), it came home to me that I don't have the guts to take on new challenges, or to even believe that I am able to do things that seem effortless for some. Today, as I peruse the Career section of The Sunday Gleaner, I feel increasingly unqualified and incompetent, for the job descriptions and requirements outlined are above me. It therefore makes no sense to even look at this section of the paper anymore.

My present job pays little when you look at my expenditures and intentions. In addition the personalities of the management team that I have to deal with is not healthy for a present psychological state. But the F%*ked-up deal is that the current job market (in addition to my weak frame of mind) renders me immobile....cause I'm not going to walk -off a job and not know how the next cheque is coming.

This of course is a most pathetic approach and outlook to anything. And I am at a constant struggle with myself analyzing my current state and seeking answers to rectify it.

The heading of this blog is not for show. I think this is what it boils down to. Confidence/high esteem of oneself is the foundation and the driving force behind individual pursuit. How then will I be able to perform a task if I don't think I can do it?

Motivational speakers and high achievers speak of this constantly and I accept what they say. The problem now is to embark on a plan to develop confidence and esteem....

Now I am enrolled in a programme to further my studies....'tis a new beginning I'll see what other developments will take place in my personal growth.

Monday, October 03, 2005

So, like, the other day, I was going through some forms of one of my *peops, and he was talking how difficult it was to get through to some individuals in order to carry out his tasks. He explained how he could not get to interview one particular individual because this individual was always busy and had a lot of men around him. This individual as he explained was a "big man" perhaps a politician or something. He explained how this "big man" was seen in the company of another gentleman, neither of whom was willing to pause to answer any questions. I started chuckling to myself and exclaimed, "maybe he (this "big man") was "happy;" I repeated this several times laughing louder each time.... not very wise of me at all.... and finally said " maybe he is 'happy' and Gay!"

I was the only one apparently getting the humour in what I've said, and foolishly did not decide to stop. when I finally did and this *peops left the office, my manager began to laugh. I was this was inappropriate seen that the joke is already passed. But my manager is now enlightening me that this *peop would not find it funny, for he indeed was gay.....

Oops!

Friday, September 30, 2005

Usually I don't have what I consider to be something worthwhile to blog about, but my job, though temporary as it is, is filled with much drama and chaos, that I don't think that I can let it remain in my head.

it has come blatantly before me that there are actually ppl who cannot spell or sign their own names. Now of course, this is no shocker, but I have heard of the situation through literatures and statistics, but never had first hand knowledge. Today I asked a young girl of 20 years to spell her name in order to complete a registration. She managed to spell her first and last name but I had to help myself with with middle name... luckily she had her birth certificate.

I have also learned that some ppl are just not worth explaining things to. It is literally a waste of energy and breath. for example, this guy visited the office to pick up X. It was explained that X would not be ready yet, because X takes A mths to be processed... and from the time when he signed up, it could never be ready by this given day. This guy insist that he is pick up X because he needs it. It was further explained that in order to expedite the process, he would have to pay a fee. This guy insist that he was there to pick up X and that's that. Mind you, this same explanation and rebuttal went on in the exact order of argument for approximately 1/2 hr. and then he said "aarite den" and left.

Another thing I have realized is that males have become, what I think is ideally described as, liberalized. I deliberately used this termed because it was and still is used to describe females who have transcended the norms of femininity and and the expectations thereof, to embrace new ideals which now are common. Now men seem to started this this some time ago, with the pierced ears... no disrespect to the guys I know with them....then the growning and styling of the hair, then the tight jeans, the taking over of the dance floor by men. for once upon a time they used kick it back, becoming sort of a backdrop so to speak, while the females were the life of the party; now I find more significantly, that a number of males are bleaching like crazy. Of course this is nothing new, but when they deliberately do not emerge from their dwellings at day because they do not want to get dark, it becomes too much to simply ignore. It's bad enough that you see them on the road, but when you have to deal with these hideous, excuse of beings everyday, is something else.

Pray for me.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ)


You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.
Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.

You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.
You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.

A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.
You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.

In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.

At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.

With others, you tend to be polite and formal.

As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.

On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!